University is a time to explore your interests and gain talents for your future career.
Oh, and to gain absolutely ridiculous skills you didn’t even know people could have.
I’m currently taking a summer class (Women and Gender Studies 101 is by far the one university class I’ve taken that makes me leave class feeling like everything I’ve been taught is a lie. But I love it.) and during my four weeks in it, I’ve realized that there are quite a lot of skills I have gained in my two years so far at university. Yes, they are ridiculous skills that no one told me I would learn, but they are nifty in most situations. So, if you’re going into university, hopefully these skills will benefit you.
7 Ridiculous Skills I Unexpectedly Learned in University (Instead of Career Advancing Knowledge)
Writing an essay worth 20% of my grade in less than an hour and get a good grade
I used to spend all week writing essays. But university has expertly taught me how to spend the least amount of time on essays and still get the grade I want. Such as the essay I spent 30 minutes on (because the teacher moved up the due date) and still got an A on. It’s all about managing your time, having a good outline, and already being good at writing essays. Save extra time to proofread – that’s the trick to this method.
Sprinting long distances in short amounts of time
Whoever thought that putting dorms on one side of campus and most general ed classes on the other is a bigger moron than the person who made finger aerobics trendy. And if you have class until 12:50 on one side of campus and another class at 1:00 on the other side, you’ve got to get quick at speed walking. But lucky for me, living in the dorms made me make a regularly 15 minute walk into six. That’s right, six.
Which coffee drink to choose based on my schedule
A chai latte will last me through my lecture and lab. A white chocolate mocha will get me through a five hour work shift. A green tea will get me to the coffee shop, where I can get an Americano for my discussion, two lectures, and the beginning of my work shift.
How to look like you did the assigned reading
Low on time? Luckily you can skim the chapter, chapter headings, and read the middle sentence of the reading. 10 minutes and professor brownie points.
Appearing to look like everything is together when it really is not
You know when you got no sleep the night before, have an essay due in three hours, a midterm in 20, your boyfriend won’t call you back, and your roommate hasn’t done the dishes? Yes, we’ve all been in way over our heads. But no one needs to know that. That’s why a little bit of concealer (my secret beauty trick), a real outfit that doesn’t have the word ‘sweat’ in it anywhere, and 20 jumping jacks will make you seem like you actually can tell people what day it is. You can still be emotionally distraught, you just won’t look like it.
Miss/leave class for a seemingly legitimate reason
Sometimes you have miss/leave class because of lack of sleep/emotional trauma/didn’t do the homework. And of course you’ve got that teacher who hates when you’re not in class. That’s why this trick is great. Simply get up to leave, and when your professor asks where you are going, say, “Did you not get my email? I sent you one before class but I wasn’t sure if you received it.” and when they say they didn’t, simply say there must be an email error.
Tip: Only use once per professor. And only for emergencies.
Not be called on in class
I really don’t like being called on in class unless I know what I’m talking about. Which in some of my classes is once in a 10-week period. But I know exactly how to not be called on unless you want to.
1. Look very confused 2. Start flipping through your notebook like you’re trying to find the answer 3. Purse your lips and tap a finger to your chin 4. Look intently at your professor and anyone who has their hand raised 5. If anyone starts talking/if there are PowerPoint slides up, start intently writing
What insanely ridiculous skills did you learn at university? Please share in the comments, I’d love to see what non-knowledge things we now know!
Also, don’t forget that starting today you can get my book Affairs for only $0.99 on Amazon for my super awesome Vacation Book Sale! Get it now before it ends on Tuesday!
Stay classy, Internet,
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