After a recent spat with a friend, what friendship means to me (and what I look for in a friend) has been on my mind quite a bit.
From years of gaining and losing friends, watching endless numbers of films, and just observing how the world goes through other forms of art and stories, we learn how we want to be treated. By the time we are teenagers, or even later depending on the individual, we know ourselves pretty well to know how we want our lives to go. We understand the type of people we want to befriend, how we want these people to treat us, and whether the people in our lives are positively benefitting us.
I’ve made lots of friends (and lost quite a few too) over the span of my life. And with each gained and lost relationship, I’ve learned a little about myself and a little about the people I want to be around.
The people you want to surround yourself with are some of the most important people of you life. If you are surrounded by negative people who discourage your dreams, put you down, and make you feel bullied at any time, you are going to have a negative self-esteem and feel unimportant, which can lead to depression and other issues. If you are surrounded by positive people who encourage your dreams, support you, and help you feel good about yourself, you are going to feel confident and accomplish so much more than you could think!
Some of the things I look for in the people in my social circle are:
People who care about their education and try to succeed
People who can carry a conversation
People with whom I can feel safe that my secrets stay secrets
People who do not pick on me unless in a jokingly matter
People who are not constant downers
People who genuinely want to be my friend
I’m not incredibly picky, but when it comes to friends, they can make or break you. You want to be able to goof off with your friends and not feel like someone is judging your every move. One of my big issues of the last year was feeling constantly bullied in my social circle by a certain person, something that I feel still goes on. Feeling that way makes it hard for me to feel comfortable being myself, which I hate. I want to be able to make funny faces and tell stories without the fear of approval. Being picked on isn’t fun, and when it’s with a close friend, it’s worse. Pick the people in your life carefully. Not everyone has to be your friend, you can have acquaintances. But when you feel bullied or uncomfortable, address the issue and either talk to the person or a counselor to see their take. How you feel is important and can affect future life choices.
How do you feel in your social circle? Are you positively or negatively influenced? Comment below or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org for any advice in your situation.