There are some tough moments in life. Saying goodbye to those you love is one of them.
We’re finally here. Thursday is the day I leave all that makes me comfortable and face a new world: University. I’ve been gearing myself up for this day and now that it’s here, I’m still a nervous mess.
While I could go on and on about moving and packing and how stressful it is, there are plenty of articles about that. Heck, most of the posts from this past month have been about that. So, I’m going to talk about the thing that has bothered me the most: Saying goodbye.
It started yesterday. My friend Miranda sent me a tweet saying that she had to see me before I left. So we rallied up those of us that were left (Me, Miranda, Alex, and Katy) and we met for lunch. I’d like to say that we spent lunch crying and reminiscing about the good ol’ days, but in true fashion we ended up just rambling about celebrities and the weird things that happen to us on a daily basis.
After sitting at our table for three hours (our waitress has finished her shift halfway through and no one had come to take our checks) we realized that we needed to go our separate ways, mine for the last time. Once again, I’d like to say that we cried and clung to each other like velcro. But this isn’t a soap opera and it ended with Katy saying she’d just come see me tomorrow and Alex saying she’d swing by tonight. Only Miranda and I exchanged parting words, and even then we just promised Skype dates and Thanksgiving. I didn’t feel depressed or anything.
But later tonight, as I was working on packing all of my belongings into bags, I ran into the garage to grab some super glue. On the wall above my dad’s work bench was an old dog toy with the name ‘DUTCH’ written in Sharpie above it. A seemingly meaningless object, but it brought the reality down to me.
My entire life I thought my dog would live until I left for university. Even when he was on the clutches of death my brain retained to the fact that he would be there to say goodbye to me as I fled the nest. But it didn’t happen that way. My dog was taken from me before I was even ready to let him go. I had to say goodbye before I was even ready to leave unto this unknown territory.
Saying goodbye is difficult. And while this afternoon it seemed nonchalant, the realization that these goodbyes separate me from the world I know now is settling upon me. Thursday will be the day it all changes. And as I say goodbye to my friends and family, it is similar to my dog. After these goodbyes are said, no matter how much you try to recreate the situation, things are always going to be different. I will have made new university friends and we will all be taking different courses and I will no longer rely on my mother’s cooking to feed me. It’s not as final as death, but these are changes that are going to define my life.
So, here I am, saying goodbye. Leaving the safe comforts of home and heading out on my own. Such as expecting a dog to be around for fourteen years and having him fall short due to cancer. It’s a weird and confusing comparison, but I hope you understand.
Thank you all for reading! I know this post was kind of odd, but it was a personal one, and personal stories are always kind of odd. I’m so excited to be leaving for university, even though I have a million things to pack, and I cannot wait to share all of my new adventures with you!
UPDATE: Said goodbye to Alex and no tears were shed. Even though the two of us could not tear ourselves away to actually end the night. Bless her heart!
Also, since this post was early, I am posting again on Friday! I don’t want to spoil it for you, but it is going to be the sweetest post ever!
Stay classy Internet,
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