For the past few years I have been giving love/dating advice to girls all around the world. In that time, I have gone simply off of what I knew from movies and what my own gut instinct told me. I thought I knew everything about relationships, but I don’t.
I’ve been in a relationship for about a month now (my anniversary’s on Saturday whoop!) and it’s taught me a lot about something I thought I knew a lot about. I didn’t expect for my relationship to teach me so much about human interaction. But it has.
We expect that movies and books are accurate depictions of how humans interact, and if our lives do not reflect those stories then we are not living the correct human lifestyle. Wrong! My relationship varies several different ways from how movies depict the typical college romance, but it doesn’t feel wrong, or that I’m not living to my potential. Everything feels right, and I don’t want to change it.
I’ve compiled a list of things I’ve learned from my month-long relationship because I feel like having real life advice beats movies any day, plus it’s about time we talked dating (It has been waaaaaaaay too long!)
What Morgan Learned About Relationships From Her Own Relationship
They’re going to become your best friend
I always believed that your best friend and your boyfriend (or best friend and girlfriend) were two separate entities. What I didn’t realize is that you can have your best friend and your boyfriend/best friend. You end up developing a bond with your significant other similar to the one with your best friend because you end up telling them a lot of the same things. It was a fascinating concept to me, and I’m still getting used to it. And while I will always need my actual best friend (Katy, I miss you dearly) it’s nice to have another.
You have to make time for them
For some reason I always thought that you didn’t need actual face-to-face time to make a relationship work. Long distance relationships probably instigated that for me. But I’ve learned that you do have to take chunks out of your schedule to make time for your significant other. Sometimes that means an hour or two of not watching Netflix, or even going to bed a few hours later so you can sit on the couch and talk about your days. A relationship is like taking on another job, and while it’s more pleasurable than a nine-to-five, it is going to take up your time.
It’s okay to open up
In movies you watch girls tell all their problems to their friends, and then say nothing to their boyfriends. I assumed that was normal. But as I sit here in a relationship I realize that that is not very normal. You’re in a relationship (possibly for the long haul) and it’s important to get to know the other person! If you don’t open up to them they won’t open up to you, and communication is vital to making it all work. And besides, sometimes those conversations while you’re wrapped up in a blanket on the couch whispering about your hopes and dreams and fears are the best parts of a relationship.
You’re going to become addicted
It’s a relationship, of course you’re going to become addicted! Unfortunately no one tells you that until after you’re securely in your relationship with goo goo gaga eyes and counting down the minutes until you see them again. I didn’t think this level of attachment came with relationships (I’ve always been healthy about my clingyness because one shouldn’t be so dependent on another) and it’s interesting to watch it in my own life as I go from, “Well, he was here an hour ago to pick up some tea before his final,” to, “OMG I get to see him tomorrow night at 7, I am so excited!” It’s not an unhealthy amount of attachment, but as all relationships in the honeymoon phase, you go a little gaga for them.
You’re going to feel like the most special person in the world
Maybe it’s the amount of chick flicks with bad acting I watch that made me assume no girl could be that happy in a relationship. I was wrong. If you’re with the right person you’re going to feel like that Rihanna song.
There is a significant amount of work involved
My friend Jackie told me that relationships were not the walk in the park that I believed they were. She’s been in a relationship for four years, so of course she was right. Relationships require patience and communication and trust and they take conscious effort on both parts. They are not just some nilly willy thing where you go from one step to the next without any sort of barrier. A real relationship with a good bond is going to have ups and downs and you’re going to have to communicate (which can be difficult) to make it all work. You’re going to have to voice how you feel, which is terrifying for me, but it will make your relationship that much better.
And that’s what I’ve learned in my month-long relationship. It’s early on (so early, but feels a lot longer) but as we’re both two people who think ahead, we’ve definitely tried to cover the bases to make sure we make our relationship work. I mean, I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time, so why would I possibly want to give that up over a simple communication issue?
I hope you all enjoyed reading this, and if you have anything to add please let me know in the comments! And if you want to share this article with friends, that would be super cool too!
Stay classy, Internet,
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