While this platform is the one place where I feel able to express myself freely, there are certain things I don’t share. Whether from embarrassment or general sense, some information is private. And until today, my dating life was in that category.
In 2014 I downloaded my first dating app. Shortly after I got into a relationship. In 2016 I dipped my toe back into Internet dating and have been there ever since. Tinder, Bumble, Coffee Meets Bagel, Hinge, etc. I’ve probably tried it. Over the past 2.5 years I’ve gone on coffee dates, went out to drinks, and met up for dinner with many potential boyfriends. And none of them have worked out. Thus why I am still single in 2019.
As I entered this year I wanted to reassess my priorities. The energy I was wasting on bad first dates was not a good use of my time. I’m 23, why am I worrying so much about finding a boyfriend? I’d had my heart broken a little at the end of last year, and before I make that mistake again it’s time to break this cycle.
So I deleted all my dating apps.
As a millennial, there’s so much pressure to have your life together and be where most people are in their 30s, in your 20s. You need to download all the apps and go on all the dates just so you can find husband material and settle down. Or having a ton of hook ups, depends on the person. And by deleting my apps I’m saying that finding a perfect mate isn’t a priority right now. I don’t need to have the perfect job and perfect husband before I’m 25. I have a great job, I’m single, I have fantastic friends. This is where I need to be on the brink of turning 24.
Will I miss dating? No. Will I still want a boyfriend? Probably. But for the first time in years I’m focusing on something a little more important than finding someone to take me out for dinner on Fridays. I’m focusing on me, and my health, my finances, and my happiness. And if I end up finding a boyfriend anyway? You and I will both be extremely shocked.
I’m two weeks in and there’s a weight off my shoulders. Not having to worry about having a date this weekend is something I think we could all benefit from. And while most of my peers will be having awkward conversation over IPAs in a trendy bar on Saturday, I might be binging TV. And I’m okay with that choice.
Dating app culture needs to stop being a lifestyle for millennials. And I’m just the first step.